二週間先の約束嬉しくてそれまで会えないことを忘れる

Kayo sent me that cool TANKA poem by TAWARA MACHI. Its really cool. ^^



I enjoyed my weekend... so how about a useless capture of it so that I can feel like this is a REAL web diary. Like I said in the last entry, went to a silly dorm dance on Friday... stayed up way too late after that in the computer labs, but it was fun. On Saturday me and Nicky Loi were hanging out... actually I ignored him for a couple of hours so I could burn a CD on his computer of 18 new songs for Japan Radio... but after that he came over to my house for a little bit and I showed him my Korea pictures... . .. On Sunday I went over to Polly's house and saw her room mate's CRAZY holloween stuff all over the walls (ghosts, skulls, pumpkins, etc) and then I ran to my radio show and got there just in time! It was really fun, its always really fun, why do I like doing my radio show so much? (SUNDAYS! 89.3FM, from 3pm to 5pm, Japan Radio!) ...



In other news... Nicky Loi has finished YEAR OF THE HORSE, the silly totally indie (no budget) movie I acted with him and others in. Its funny, and you can see Dansen with a beard and acting bad! So if your around WWU campus... its Next Saturday, Nov 2nd, 7PM at the Fairhaven Auditorium. Check it out! woo, woo! (Free)



My life seems connected to a phone sometimes! ^^*; ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ ...... I still l haven't seen S.O. to thank her for the cool call from Wyoming (44th State to Join the USA!)... so if S.O. reads this: thanks dude! life connected to the phone...life connected to the phone... hehehe ^^*; ... Also talked to Marykoh who I haven't talked to in a very long time. I had promised to call her months ago, but I didn't until yesterday... I called her cell, and surprized her while she was hanging out with friends... it was fun talking to her though. She needs to be a 日本のセラピスト. Or something like that! Yeah. My freeboard has been interesting, I added smile icons to the messages and its funny-fun now! oh yeah. hehehe. But feel free to drop your comments there. I wrote this write now and I like it: Join the revolution, revolt against the leaders, and then revel in your real regal disregard for everything and everyone that ever was.

I love the internet.

I have a list of e-mails I need to reply to, but I haven't because I haven't had the time to spend... although I've been on this computer for a long time tonight! Why? Because I love the internet. I started off tonight by going to a silly dance party at a dorm near my appartment, it was ok... hip hop and techno music, a lot of people, but I got bored... so I decided to go the computer labs to use the computers.... and I ended up on a knowledge quest. Every time I dip into the deep pool of the internet I'm amazemed at the huge endless depths of this information network. Anything and everything... This week I selected a picture from the Chinese Space Program for the picture on my sidebar, its an example of the endless info on the net. Do you know that mainland China is making a human space program? Maybe as soon as 2003, and they have plans for a moon colony by 2010. (Thats a colony, a living place.) .. ok!!! Ok!! I know all this is really geeky, and stupid, but this is just some of the vast piles of information on the internet. its amazing.



ok whatever. Thats what I have to say. 3AM, time to crash my eyes into my pillow.

I've switched the address for this "diary" thing to a site with ads, so that I can make sure it updates. (on my server it wasn't updating for some weird reason)



So whats been happening? Did I mention that maybe the court thing is over? And I'm not in the negetive? That was cool. School is being difficult. But its not so bad, I just like complaining because I'm silly. What else? oh! Šy‚µ‚Ý�I‚©‚æ‚©‚æ‚¿‚á‚ñ‚̓VƒAƒgƒ‹‚ƃxƒŠƒ“ƒOƒn�[ƒ€�i‚±‚±�j‚Ö�s‚­‚æ�I Kayo's coming up to visit here and I'm really happy about that. It'll be fun to hang out (its been years!), even though shes only going to be here so quickly. Any one have any ideas of cool places I should show her in Bellingham?



Polly brought me tons of food today, she didn't need/want it. But that was really nice of her, its good pork & rice. Yummy. Right now I'm at school, I'm going to go home and eat that in a few minutes. Yummy! OK. Enough useless thoughts from me (how can these thoughts be useless? Its my "Web diary", all this stuff is just "day to day" right?) anyway... I'm going home! (I got a big test tomorrow in Greek Lit.) .... sampai jumpa!!

Well, I didn't win my court case or loose it. Thats all I have to say about that.



I had a really fun weekend. On Friday I did something really cool, but honestly right now my sleepless brain cant remember anything about what it was. On Saturday me an Even got together... drank plum sake and made weird music on his computer. It was kind of like me to Indonesian phrases, with me rapping/chanting in Japanese over a strange techno beat. It was freaky, and the "rap" was just freestyle ideas I thought of, and I'm sure it sucked.. but the whole experience was really awesome in my opinion. Will have to be repeated sometime. On Sunday I went over to Melissa's house for a study/watch movie session. It was really fun, although some of the Japanese people there found out I speak some Japanese (I've been trying to sort of keep it a secret~~!) but it was fun stretching my language ability and talking informal "cool" Japanese with the young dudes. Although I'm such my Japanese sounded dorky and very uncool. ^^*; but after that we watched WATERBOYS a Japanese movie about a group of high school boys who learn to synchronize swim... its a really crazy weird funny movie....! (check it out if you get the chance)... but while I was there I drank too much cafinee and that night (last night) I didnt fall asleep until after 7:00 in the morning!!! This morning I woke up at 9:30... I'm so tired right now. My head is thundering... but I'll be ok. If you look into the eye of the storm you forget the force of the external wind. Yeah, take that to the street and skate on it.

APA KABAR?

Peronal dramas... it was so important to me, but others maybe didn't have my feeling of frustration...~

I got my loan check. I have been needing it for more than 2 weeks, and I finally got it. Worries off. I go to court regarding deciding if I owe a lot of money. Worries on.



But in the end, I think I don't have any worries about that ... its all just life, huh?

I cant figure out this "blogger" thing. Its mixing up my Japanese encoding.

Had a crazy weekend. Watched movies with Nickie (& crew) and Emily and Steve... we saw Remember The Titans. I'm really making this feel like a "diary" huh? Anyway.. On Saturday, Nicky (noticed the different spelling, its a different person) invited me to go with him to this kind of cool (but also a lot of old people were there, it felt silly that way) music show at some old-people (over 30s) bar downtown. Our friend (more Nicky's than mine) was playing lead guitar and singing, it was ok music and fun. After that I came home and drank myself to sleep (finished a whole bottle of cheap orange wine) ...before sleeping I played a lot of this really old video game (it was made in 1981!) called FROGGER. You have to try to get the frog across the street, with out getting hit by these cars and stuff. It was funny. I was singing in Japanese (I'm going to use romanji) "KAERU NO UTA GA KIKOETE KURU---AHH..KUSO!" when one of the cars would run over my poor little frog. The more I drank, the more often the poor frog would get hit by the cars. (Luckly he would be ok in a few seconds when the video game would reload.) I then watched some TV with Steve and then went off and faded into my bed. On Sunday I had a good radio show... Nickie and some of her Japanese friends were gunna come in with Emily, but none of them came in...~ none the less.. Evyan (Spelling?), Polly, and Polly's friend Priscilla came into the radio and played around and talked with me while I play the songs... so it wasn't so boring, and it was actually kinda fun. I had a "reject sunday" and played a lot of songs I had never played before. Some of the songs were really weird ("trippy" is the slang word for them)... but it was fun having fresh songs blow out across the air. (SUNDAYS! 3 to 5PM! 89.3FM!) Anyway, thats all I have to say for now.

SAMPAI JUMPA!

ƒ‰ƒCƒt‚Í•Ï‚Ë‚¦...

I sent an e-mail to someone today and I said that I decide that I was "sad" ... It wasn't a big feeling, and I didn't really feel "sad" but I felt like something was different. I think what was hitting me was all the current "problems" (money etc) that have been messing with me lately. Well, I was walking out of an office today with even more bad news and I was caught up in that thought when suddenly I walked by this guy that I totally didn't know, and he smiled as he walked past and said:

"Man, you always are so happy, you always look happy as fuck man!"

(For those of us trying to learn more English, his saying "fuck" here dosen't mean he is angry, it just means "very happy") I was suddenly snapped back from my inside thoughts to the outside world and I realized I had been singing a little song to myself with a big smile on my face. I kinda laughed and as he was going one way, and me another way, I pointed to my head and said: "Its natural, in here!" and told him to have a good day. That made me start thinking. If I thought I was sad, why aren't I? Its kind of a weird thought~ . . .

‚í‚©‚È‚¢... ‚¾‚¯‚Ç,–l‚Í‚µ‚ ‚킹‚©‚È

More thoughts...

¤Ä¤«¤ì¤¿¡ª¤­¤Î¤¦¡¢°ì¿Í¤Ç¼ò¤ò°û¤ó¤À¡£¤Á¤ç¤Ã¤È¤ª¤«¤·¤¤¤±¤É... ^^*;

I had a potluck yesterday in my small appartment. So many people came, it was really fun.

It was fun squeezeing everyone in, and we had lots of good food:

apples, sushi, cookies, sandwhiches, turkey, orange juice, etc.

¤­¤Î¤¦¡§¥Ý¡¼¥È¥é¡¼¥¯¤Î¿©¤Ùʪ¤Ï¥Á¥ç¥¦¤ª¤¤¤·¤«¤¿¤è¡ª

After everyone left, I was sitting and my floor and I couldn't feel sleepy.

My thoughts were jumping around in my head, and my feelings

were crawling around in my brain, and so I decided to start drinking.

So, I drank my self to sleep again. Not really so smart, but it works.

In a few minutes, I'm going to go to my radio show. I'm going to play

a lot of the Pizzicato Five CD that cool Kayo sent me. Its a realy cool CD,

and so maybe today is Pizzicato day. ^^ 5 to tha Pizzo, jive to tha cato-faiiiive.

Or something like that. Dansen is finishing his thoughts... one more thought,

this diary is setup so really old entries will be deleted by new ones.. . so its

kind of like life. Nothing lasts forever, so enjoy your moments.

I don't know what I'm saying today. ¤¸¤ã¡¢¤Þ¤¿¤Í¤¨¡Á

...

Hello everyone. This is my "freechal" copy. ㅋㅋㅋ ..I'm trying to make a interesting diary thing.

Its a public diary, so maybe you won't see anything shocking (or maybe you will~!)

I have no problem saying I'm totally copying this idea from many other people,

including my friend Nicky who has the exact same system on his website.

But this is my thoughts of whats happening. Keep on reading~!



do you know what? its my fate dude. I just wrote this long winded totally geeky

but really cool thought about Greeks & anciant Japanese ideas. and the damn

computer just died, and I lost it all. うそ！パスコンはヤバイね！ It really sucks.

Maybe I'll say something quickly, and more stupid sounding this time.

I'm taking a Greek Litature class. グリクーの文学。I was thinking about

how anciant Greek and anciant Japanese Shinto has almost the same ideas!

The teacher was explaining the basic ideas behind traditional Greek thought:

1) honor gods, 2) honor parents 3) honor the dead 4) honor guests & hosts...

and this is totally old Japanese thoughts! The number 2 is kind of a result of

confusist but at the same time it mixed into old Shinto...~ but the rest have been

with Shinto for a long time! Shinto & Greek are both "polytheistic" (many gods)

although the main difference is Greek relgion is "anthropomorphic" (making gods

seem like real humans) but Shinto isn't (or am I wrong? is it?)... anyway... thats

enough geeky crap from me. blah blah blah, I dont stop talking.

でも、おもしろいじゃん！神道とグリクーの宗教はちょっと同じと思う。

帰りたい。おやすみ！ thats all from me for now... SAMPAI JUMPA!

broken thoughts about tonight

Note from 2012: I am missing a diary from about 1998 to 2002. I wrote a lot of poems in that time, but to the best of my knowledge I didn't write any diary entries. I will provide some of the poems here as a way to represent my melodramatic mind during those "missing years" and on some of the poems (2000-2002) the dates are only approximate. The thoughts were sometimes experimental, and not a total reflection of my life. Just poetry of a teenager. I won't upload all of them, but I will upload a few to fill in any gaps in my chronological record.

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The poem on this page is from an old notebook I had for my British Literature class, I would sometimes write poem fragments in the book of it after class, no solid dates were written down.

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Alienated shadows,
circles without a home
Empty voices,
shapes standing all alone
Cards of suits and many colors
defined and lined
all in a row
Ignite the story, burning tonight
Echoed laughs,
and simple sorrows
On waves of wine
blown, in the wild wind...

eat, eat, eat

Note from 2012: I am missing a diary from about 1998 to 2002. I wrote a lot of poems in that time, but to the best of my knowledge I didn't write any diary entries. I will provide some of the poems here as a way to represent my melodramatic mind during those "missing years" and on some of the poems (2000-2002) the dates are only approximate. The thoughts were sometimes experimental, and not a total reflection of my life. Just poetry of a teenager. I won't upload all of them, but I will upload a few to fill in any gaps in my chronological record.

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The poem on this page is from an old book of poetry I had, I would sometimes write thought fragments on it while riding the bus, no solid dates were written down.

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Silver trays are the teeth of the giant
beast that eats everything.
Piling, high inside the mind,
the wastes of a society gone mad.
Eating, eating, eating
Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning
The rubber gloves, clothed like an awkward
frog, grasp the pans and drown them
and submerge the pots in the horrid stew of
wasted food, afloat on putrid water.
"arigato, arigato, arigato..."
The song is sang to the sound of the
mechanical monster that swallows the dishes
and spits them out clean.
The huge, noisy, monster dies, and lives again---
attempting to confuse the frog hands as they grasp
the lids, teeth, and other broken pieces of the
common flow that is blind to its innards.
The mindless people are the future forks and spoons
of society. They line up--- as if to be washed
and cleaned, never seeming to notice the inside
of the world they eat.

mouse

Note from 2012: I am missing a diary from about 1998 to 2002. I wrote a lot of poems in that time, but to the best of my knowledge I didn't write any diary entries. I will provide some of the poems here as a way to represent my melodramatic mind during those "missing years" and on some of the poems (2000-2002) the dates are only approximate. The thoughts were sometimes experimental, and not a total reflection of my life. Just poetry of a teenager. I won't upload all of them, but I will upload a few to fill in any gaps in my chronological record.

-

The poem on this page is from an old book of poetry I had, I would sometimes write thought fragments on it while riding the bus, no solid dates were written down.

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Today, I was waiting for the bus and I was looking across the road. As I watched the street I saw a tiny mouse standing on my side of the street. The mouse hesitated, and then ran into the street. Big cars roared over its head, coming very close to hitting the poor mouse. The noise confused the poor mouse and for a moment she weaved back and forth, as if she was lost. And then with new determination the mouse finished across the road. Some silly girl said something like "What a stupid mouse, it shouldn't try to cross the road, it could get hit by a car!" But I thought, "What a brave mouse! Good for it!" Because this reminded me of life, in life we struggle to cross the road (or you can say we struggle with a task) and many things confuse us, no matter how hard we try. But if we don't give up--- we can cross the road!