jumbled mumble

It seems more often than not, my posts these days are about new photos I've added to my album. I suppose thats the current mode my blog has taken on for the time being. My memories of the past few weeks seem a bit jumbled in my head, as if I shook up a box of confetti, emptied it out on a windy day, and grabbed a few strands as they twirled off. I have met a lot of people from many years ago who just happened to be in the area for one reason or the other. Memories make me who I am, I suppose. And still more people are moving, changing, going other places. I wonder what life will be like when too many memories build up under my finger nails, behind my ears and under my bed. Follow the link, if you want to see about 14 new pictures in my album.

life as it goes on

Several people have left my company, and one of my work friends will leave soon too. Its got me thinking about these kind of cycles. Most of the people that disappear from my work will disappear from my life, as if they pass away. In life, we live in a certain moment and as we glide forward we bump into many souls, but most of the people we meet fade into the shadows of the rush forward. I guess I should be really thankful for the few friends and acquaintances that have managed to keep their light bright enough that I can continue to know where their soul goes, even after all these years. Most of the other people are just whispy memories, ghosts inside my shifting thoughts.

It had been awhile, so I uploaded something like 47 new pictures to my web album, so if you like to browse pictures be sure to check that out. Even a few new videos too. Life continues.

another night

Maybe it's because I work until fairly late, or maybe it's because I am a "night person" but I usually find myself awake at odd hours of the night. Tonight, before going to sleep I thought I'd run to the local cheap shop to buy myself some shaving cream and toothpaste (ran out of both on the same day, go figure!) even though it was about 2:00 at night. I step out side, and I'm met by a pleasant wind tempting me to assume spring is on it's way again. It sure seems like winter has hidden in the curtains this time. The wind compliments the darkness, and the splattering of late night/early morning rain that comes as a combination meal. I have a surge of clarity, like when I'm writing and I suddenly know what the next character will say. My surroundings sharp, my mind clear. I floated along in my reality bubble, and walked past an old gentlemen bar. Small neon sign in front, fading door. A customer was singing badly to an old 70s tune, reaching the crescendo, the payoff, and he ended it with a half-hearted "yeea!" to congratulate himself, and a few hands could be heard clapping briefly. And I wondered about motivations, and I wondered why he was singing karaoke at 2 in the morning, why he was sining such an old song, to such a small audience. Did he have images of being a rockstar? Being famous? Being a good singer? Being loved? What motivated him? Why was he singing here, what drove him forward? And before more thoughts could bubble further, the bright blue and orange lights of the cheap 99yen shop disturbed my flow, I hesitated while I made some sort of mental bookmark so that I could write my thoughts down later, and then I stepped inside.

late night thoughts

So its 3 in the morning and I should be sleeping. I was thinking about a few days ago when I thought spring was finally here. It was my half day, so I was walking home in the afternoon. The sun was golden, warm. And suddenly tiny sprinkles of rain speckled my skin, like tactile polkadots I could feel but not really pay attention to visually. And next the wind picked up and blew strong down through the corners of buildings and around the bend in the sidewalk, blowing hard against my face. I opened up my jacket, and held it out with my hands, as if I was wearing a kite. I learned into the sudden impressively strong wind, and honestly could feel the force of the wind supporting me.

But now its all cold and sour again. I guess spring isnt really here yet. My feet are cold, and my room is cold, and outside is an ice cube factory.

The other day I was talking to Kayo (who was walking around in Shibuya) on the phone, and then she suddenly goes "Ohmygod! its michael jackson, michael jackson just walked right past me!" and I knew he was in Japan, so I told her, get off the phone, follow him and take a picture with your phone. And she goes "But he might be upset if I take his picture." and I thought it was really funny and an interesting view of her way of thinking. The "rational" thought would say, he is a celebrity he should be used to people taking his picture, and beyond that even if he does get upset why would it have an impact on kayo's life? I laughed and said "yeah, if you do it, he might not be your friend anymore after that, maybe he wont call you to hang out anymore." By the time she realized she should try to get a picture, quite a few people had begun to recognize him, so he had already been whisked away and was gone. (For those wondering, Kayo says he was wearing some sort of "Indian [as in, person from India]" headgear wrapped around his head, and he was accompined by a Japanese woman who appeared to be a guide of somesort, and thats it. Checking out the streets of Japan!)

Trip to Oshima

Oshima is an island (literally "big island") off the coast of Tokyo. Me and my good friend Kayo decided to take a brake from the grind of endless work, and hop over for a quick two day trip. It was a lot of fun, although not so much different than Tokyo. On the way there we took an airplane, and the view was amazing. Pulling up and away from Tokyo, Mount Fuji poked up over the horizon and slipped away as the ocean revealed the destination. Oshima is famous for a type of flower called Tsubaki (camellia in English?) and although the peak of the blooming season was over, there were still a lot of Tsubaki flowers everywhere. The air was a little cold, but not too bad. Oshima was extra interesting for me, because I'm a big Gojira (godzilla) fan. Gojira escaped from this island's mountain when it erupted, and thats just so cool. The first day, we went to a small sushi restraunt and I got some really fresh maguro tuna. Kayo's bowl was spicy and had a piece of a bandaid in it, so she had crap luck for lunch I guess. After that we took a bus to the other side of the island and walked to the ocean. It was peaceful, almost no one around. No sounds but the waves, a few birds, and Kayo singing karaoke to herself. Me and Kayo have known each other for a long time, so sometimes we would get a bit grumpy in the cold air, but I guess thats the nature of our communication sometimes. After watching the waves for awhile, we took the bus back to the area where we were staying. The sun was fading, but we decided to rent bikes and ride along the shore on a bike path. The sky was a dark blue with a ribbon of pinkish-orange, and we were shooting along in the crisp air. The road would snake through chunks of old lava and trees, or along a row of old restaurants being renovated, or along the mellow ocean. It was beautiful. The next day, we woke up really early and ate breakfast at the inn and then we took a bus to the base of the mountain. We walked/hiked up the dissolute mountain for a couple of hours. Endless fields of lava-rocks and lava-sand. Kind of impressive for its complete sterile vibe. I felt a bit like I was walking along mars after it had just been terraformed or something. Endless bleakness. It was really geographically interesting, but really hard work in ratio of the reward when we reached the summit, which was simply a semi-smoking hole. I can now say I've peaked down the hole of a volcano. Next we made our way to the port, and took a boat back to Tokyo. The boat was slower than the airplane, but it was fun in its own way too. I took 2GB of photos and videos, I think that shows how bad I needed a vacation.
Below is an embedded video clip collection of my trip:

two sides to one coin

I was walking to the local 99YEN discount shop, and I walked past a bar I had seen when Tom came to visit me from Hong Kong. Its a chicken-on-a-stick (yakitori) bar, and sometime around 11 at night me and Tom had walked past it. We were hungry, and the Japanese sign out front read "open for business" so I slid open the door and started to step in (with Tom behind me, not yet through the door) and the owner looked over at me and said (in Japanese of course) "We're not open for biz-nuss, son" (I'm trying to capture in English the feeling of informal friendliness that could also be seen as rude depending on which way you want to read it.) Although that sounded oddly like something from a cowboy movie when the greenhorn walks through the doors, even more so because of the open sign, I decided I must have just caught the bar right as it was closing up. Which brings me to my 1:30 in the early morning walk past it a few minutes ago. It was still open, with customers inside. Heres where we get to the two sides on one coin idea. This situation could be understood as zenophobia or racism or a mix of the two. But it could also be understood in a million other ways too. Maybe the owner's friends came in from out of town. Maybe the customers were yakuza gangsters and the owner was afraid to push them out and close up. Maybe he has special super-late hours on Sunday nights. The list could go on forever. The same two sided coin situation can play in the opposite way. When I got to the 99 YEN shop, I was in a hurry so I just grab my super late dinner stuff and just as I'm thinking about walking to the counter, the register-guy runs over and brings me a basket for my stuff, I tell him I dont need one because I'm buying my stuff at that moment. He responds by bowing and using respect words in a hurried nervous manner that makes me feel important, like he needs to sell me my stuff as fast as he can so I can go home to my warm house. Of course, up pops the two-sided coin. Maybe he was thinking I was a drunk foreigner and when I communicated with him he realized I wasnt one of those two things. (I'm sure you can figure out which!) Or maybe he was feeling guilty for not liking me which translated into rushed service so he could get me out of his hair. Or maybe his rush was fear I would hurt him or speak to him in some freaky language, or both. Theres always more than one way to see the same thing, I suppose.

visits of souls i know

Thats right. Friends from out of town! Thats always good news. My friend from Hong Kong, Tom, came to visit Japan for about a week. He stayed at my small place, and took the bullet train to Kyoto or Osaka almost every day. (He had a JR pass, so it wasnt so expensive.) It was fun to have someone in the neighborhood, I hadnt ever made that much time to check out local bars and restaurants so much. At the same time, two students who I had taught in Korea came to Japan with my previous boss. I hung out with them for a few days while my hong kong friend was in Kyoto. We went around Tokyo and did most of the tourist things I never do. It was fun to pretend like a Tokyo Tourist for a few days. And yeah, the end result is 34 new pictures that you should check out... just click next in the upper right corner to go through them all! (Well, they arent all about the things I mention above, kind of random actually, I have been lazy to upload recently.)

The Untold Story: part 1

I have too much stress to sleep right now, and I really need to get to bed. In an attempt to relax the mind, I will tell the story of the first time I came to Japan about 7 years ago. (Time flies when you are living life strapped to a rocket.) Some of you might be familiar with this story, and some might not know much about it. And I honestly have to admit that a lot of it is lost in the haze of my incredibly selective memory. So some of this story will remain lost forever, either by personal choice, by bad memory or simply because I wish to build suspense for a further episode of my look up at the memories blowing away. (Warning this might be a little long.)

Somehow I ended up eating lunch with some international students at my small community college. The "how" of the situation is too much of a bother to explain at the moment. I remember the dull peptobismol-pink tables, the noisy people trying to be cool. It was usually the same table. I cant remember what class I was coming out of or going to. European Art History? Northwest American History? Seemed to have a lot of history classes for no reason that year. I had learned a few words in Japanese from my friends or students. I had been helping out in the tutorial center for about a year or so at that point. Well, I had been helping out with the benefit of $6.50 an hour that helped to put me through my early years in college. I was playing with the Japanese words I had learned and somehow it came to me. Why not go to Japan? The idea of a foreign country was more an abstract glow, I knew it wouldnt be like Canada or California, but I think I was niave enough to not even make a solid picture of it in my head. I dont think I even ran an internet search on it. I just thought, hey, I should go and check it out for the summer. Part of my reason probabbly had to do with the fact that because I wasn't going to go to school in summer, my dorm wouldn't let me live there. If I was "homeless" I thought I might as well enjoy a wild ride of it. I had been saving money for the last few years. I doodled out some ideas. Lets see, after buying a cheap airplane ticket, my budget would give me about 600yen (about US$6 at the time) a day for everything. Food, transportation, lodging, everything. Thats not bad. I showed my Japanese friends at lunch. I suppose saying they freaked out would be an understatement. They told me there was no way I could survive on such a small amount of money. That I couldnt even get a hotel for that cheap. I said that I was just expecting to sleep under bridges or in parks. I really said that, thinking back I either was incredibly stupid or just super happy-go-lucky or some odd mix of the two. Several of my Japanese friends spent the next few days trying to find me options, one of them found several people who wanted to let a "foreign person" stay at their house. Cultural exchange so to speak. So I was off. Not so fast young man! I found out my wisdom teeth needed to be taken out, they were impacted and it was dangerous to go anywhere with out doing anything about them. I got them ripped out and literally went to Japan the next day, with a pocket full of pain pills. My ride over was a haze. The only clear thing I remember through the daze of pills was looking down at my hand after eating some shrimp and seeing the perfect triangle of bumps that sometimes appears after eating shrimp. I must have some sort of odd allergy. I got to Japan, and the guy who I had been put in contact with to stay with first surprised me by meeting me at the airport. Tatsuya. Tall, thin, t-shirt and jeans. Glasses and a friendly but a slightly odd smile. As I got on the local train I realized that the air was thick, and it smelled different. The smell of air is something that always lets me know when I'm in a new country, every country seems to have a unique fragrence twirled into its translucent local atmosphere. I didn't know at the time that the airport was in the countryside, so the endless green streaming past the windows put me into a happy sleepy daze. A glimpse of the light that had begun to fade as we got closer to Tatsuya's and then I lost all my memories until I woke up later that night, a victim of jet lag, a smile on my face in the dark silence. A dog barked in the distance and I was in Japan!

bad jokes & warm rooms

Lets listen in as I fail to make a funny joke. When I work at Matsudo, they have the school front desk on the 3rd floor, and the teaching rooms on the 5th. Yeah, a bit odd. So when the front desk Japanese staff want to talk to us, they have to call up stairs on an intercom phone. The phone rings, I answer.
"Hello, is Dansen there please?" says a staff member, asking for me.
"Oh sorry" I say "He isnt here. He died."
Silence. The staff member is shocked. Or maybe just a little confused.
I try to laugh, "haha... just joking. This is Dansen."
She says in chilly Japanese "You're pissing me off."
I need to work on my humor skills. I'm a total idiot huh. ha ha!

So I was woken up this morning by my landlord and the electric store handyman. I put on my pants, and let them in. When I came home, the air conditioner (and thus my heater) was working again! Oh joy! No more chilly nights, with a runny nose in the morning. Yay!

its cold in here

The air conditioner (and thus the heater) seems to be broken, so I am sitting in a room the temperature of a cold fridge. The hum of the microwave. The smell of my frozen cheese and vegetable spring rolls sizzling in the microwave. The computer on one futon, me on another, wrapped in several layers of coats. My (intentionally, tastes better that way) cold fried chicken, and crispy fresh don tacos chips ready to be consumed. Its a night to remember. The microwave bell goes off, I get up to check on my springrolls. The bottoms are hot, the tops not perfect but I take them out of the microwave because I'm hungry. It's dinner time. I eat a few cheese sticks of goodness, complimented with divine chips, and then get up and boil some water. The boiling water will heat my room (a trick I learned from my mum) and hot water is also perfect for my red plastic yutanpo. This room is getting a little wet (from the steam) but its a little less chilly. Thats good, just like my cheese sticks.

tired tired

Yup, 33 new pictures in my album, tons of photos, too many photos (a even a video I took in Yokohama), if any one checks them all out they deserve a few points.

I saw Letters From Iwo Jima with a friend tonight. It was a sad movie, and a sad night. After the movie I was upset with my friend (for various reasons) and we each went home angry at each other I guess. A cold angry night in Tokyo. This blog is starting to sound quite negetive? Just an echo of what the current state of my existance is. Winter can feel this way I guess. I can smell spring coming though, its coming, and after that, I cant wait for summer to brake through these cold days.

3am rant

Three in the morning. Is there a better time to splatter a blog with an empty rant? In the buttcrack of morning, I can riploose from the normal constraints and social rules, I can be free, I can express my innerself! Frolic! For example, admit that I'm eating my second dinner for tonight. The first one, when I came home from work ages ago was a yummy pasta dish from the convience store. But midnight (postmidnight if you know what I mean, nudge nudge) munchies hit me harder than a tree living in a freshman dorm at Rastafarian College and Recreation Center. So my second dinner is nacho chips, and a sandwhich. With brown bread. A rarity in this spot of the spiny globe thing. And a second carton of orange juice. I already drank one 1000ml carton of orange juice with my first dinner, and now I'm on my second. If pirates drank orange juice instead of rum I would be well on my way to becoming an honary pirate, my friends. It might take a few more cartons before I would get my first eye-patch. And with that, I leave you with the smile that I have a special day off work tomorrow in which I can take a bath in my shallow self-pity and putrid sense of achievement. Or something silly hip-jokester like that! Me sleepy.